Tuesday, June 30

sometimes this is the way i feel

sometimes it's just like
"seriously? do i really look like that? really?


Friday, June 26

i went to the drugstore and bought reese's peanut butter cups and a large container of body lotion. after riding to the park i sat down for a little bit and looked at all the dads and thought how they were all once dudes

i am taking myself really seriously right now

Janet Reno is riding her bike so fast, like the tour de france but faster, she thinks, because she’s passing cars and hardly stopping at any stop signs. “I think I’m dead right now” she thinks, at the intersection of a moderately busy commercial street on the way to get to where she lives. If Janet Reno died she would want the velvet underground to play all the time, just because they seem like the absolute most appropriate. You know, ethereal, maybe. Desperate. “Such a perfect day,” Janet says out loud, yelling sort of, pedaling her bike and standing up a little bit, she isn’t wearing a helmet and feels reckless. There is a red blinking light clipped to her pants to warn the drivers of her presence. Janet Reno has already had a hairline fracture in her forearm as the result of carelessness. She thinks she forgot how to ride a bike, for a few minutes, and that’s when she crashed. It was traumatic and bloody, there was a lot of blood.

i got a check today in the mail

it was from my school and i don't know why they gave it to me but i said "cool", and i'll go shopping maybe
i think it'd be important to be more of a self-starter, a go-getter, etc
really good things recently have included a free membership to the movie rental place in redwood city where they have genres of the week that are 7 day rentals for $1, it's awesome and cool. not as cool as the library where it is generally just free anyways. i don't know, other things make it cool too.

i should get contacts, and not just because i saw this really cool looking contact case in a store on laurel street today. it had cat eyes on it and, i don't know, just looked like "if i have to have bad vision i might as well have corrected vision every day and also keep my contacts in this cool case at night"
i like things that you can carry around in cool cases. sometimes i'd just prefer to have something i don't really need, but with a cool case. i just think that makes a big difference.
the thing about my vision is this: i can hardly see straight sometimes, and i used to have a lazy eye when i was six or seven, and i wore an eyepatch over my glasses. i always tell people that suddenly i had corrected vision and didn't have to wear glasses anymore. i think i just stopped wearing them and my parents didn't notice because i was self-conscious or something. i don't know, or maybe an optometrist really did tell me that i didn't need glasses.

in high school i got glasses again. i am one of those people who never knew they desperately needed glasses, but kept hitting things when driving cars. i had no clue it was even possible to see the leaves on trees.

Tuesday, June 23


today i rode my bike like the tour de france

Sunday, June 21

my friends are jerks

will i ever thrive in a social situation when the ultimate goal is intimate conversation/mild tactile involvement with a specific human being in mind where i am not completely humiliated
will i ever stop assuming i have been completely humiliated
will i ever own my own dog
will i ever
i like to watch cops
i like to watch cops
i like to watch cops
i like to watch cops
i like to watch cops
i like to watch cops the tv show
i like to watch cops
i like to watch cops
i like to watch cops
it's such a good tv show

Friday, June 19

movie review!!!!

yesterday i watched a documentary called kill your idols. it was interesting, cool, mostly interesting.
last night i started a movie called reprise, which is in norwegian but took me a while to figure that out, it is a weird language. it is good. it is very good. i'm going to watch the rest of it today. probably right now. but this one seems good. very good.

Thursday, June 18

right now i have three pending event invitations on facebook and i haven't replied to any of them yet

i am just tickled pink by my exclusivity today i decided: i will stop reading the book i am reading in the middle of it and start another one this is the wildest thing i've done all summer

Wednesday, June 17

metaphysical experience

today i went to baskin robbins and asked to try their new 'wild 'n' reckless sherbert'. i ate it off the little spoon and said "tastes like crap" then threw it in the trash. i think the guy who worked there heard me and gave me a look that essentially said, "you are rude and possess no social graces". it was then that i knew he was right about everything!

Saturday, June 13

little triangles


2:18 am


haha, 'street fashion'
2:19 am


dumb page


i outlined too many things


i started thinking it was offensive so i added zines


like made them look like they were exploding
do you know what i mean
like an exploding border



little triangles


little triangles

Friday, June 12

i wrote this poem after eating a piece of pizza and drinking ice cold water they both hurt my teeth from the extremities of temperature

someone said it was the worst thing ever
i said okay please don't read it
but there it is
on the internet
cool, gratifying, good

i went to oakland and now i want to live there, i don't think it's hard to do

mark my words

Thursday, June 11

who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat who wants to ichat

Wednesday, June 10


i finished this book in two days which is unusual for me sort of but maybe because i haven't read a novel in a long time. i partly felt like i had to read it fast like when people say they read a book in a day it makes me feel like i should be doing that to be more of an "avid reader", or speed reading is required to be called "a person who reads a lot of books". when i read short fiction i like to take a lot of time to read it and read it over a few times because the third time i read something is usually when i really "get it". i don't know if that's true i don't really know exactly why i said that anyways.
okay so, the book. it was 256 pages. now that i say that maybe it was three days.
the words i would use to describe this book would be "sweet" and "kind of funny but sad also". it's about a young girl, maybe 10 or 11 or 12 i'm not sure if it's ever really specified, but she has two sisters and a brother and is very poor and lives in new york. her family's garbage piles up in her house because they don't have personal garbage disposal which i guess you have to have in new york. she is friends with a hot dog vendor who gives her hersheys bars and her brother wears a blue silk robe, she says "fuck" a lot and a scene in spain is involved and i think she also has a dog. like i said it is "sweet" and "kind of funny but also sad" and would encourage somebody i know on a moderately intimate level to read it.

the way i feel about bob dylan

i don't really listen to him that much and when i do i sometimes feel like a boring urban white person, even though i am, but even more so. occasionally i will find a song that i really like and i will listen to it over and over again. thus i feel like less of a boring urban white person, like that one song is really essential, or something, i don't know

Monday, June 8

here is some stuff i am going to do

be more specific
get into potential marathon shape, i think it would feel fulfilling to complete a marathon but probably a half marathon 'realistically'
not letting reality impose upon limitations
******five hundred sit ups********
writing down my dreams because i always forget or neglect to remember they were dreams. like sometimes i have dreams where people are being mean to me or doing things i'm displeased with then i am angry with them in real life, it's irrational
i am going to organizing my project into fruition if you are interested send me an email it will be a zine collective and i think the hardest part will be making copies because i fucking hate the people at kinkos/fedex office
but on that topic, yes, the project, fruition, etc
but then again maybe my dreams are 'trying to tell me something', does anyone believe in this theory, why or why not

Friday, June 5


i want to go on whatever diet plan nicole richie is on

Wednesday, June 3


this morning the building inspector came to our house and i was still in bed. i was reading a book. he made a joke about it being too early and i laughed sort of. he was checking the outlets or something, i'm not sure exactly. since then i've been sitting on the couch that my dog ripped a hole in. he thought we had hid a million tennis balls underneath the leather. our cable box keeps turning on and off and off and on and it is making a small noise every, maybe, ten minutes or so.
i think i'm obsessed with affection
i can't stop eating cereal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 2

foggy eyes

is my itunes trying to tell me something