Friday, April 1

highly documented non-sequitur comments that came out of my mouth after the removal of my wisdom teeth




*from here on, 'me' refers to sara mcgrath, 'them' as the dental staff/technicians at my oral surgeon's office*


drugs ingested:

valium prior to surgery

propofol (curiously the same drug that killed michael jackson) in an IV

whatever they put up my nose


conversation before the surgery:

talked in a relaxed, jovial way to the technicians about their tattoos. they were mostly sunsets, butterflies, roses, or things found in the ocean

saw my brother being wheeled past my room on a stretcher, giggled uncontrollably and said "that's my brother, i can't believe it"


conversation post surgery:

communicated my emotional state with 'rock on' hand signs

expressed the genius of having clouds as tiles on the walls. they told me they put it up "just for me" and i said something like "i love you guys, i really do"


me: "are you guys all best friends? you're so nice"
them: "yes but once we're done working on friday we hate each other"
me: "oh you guys are so funny, you guys are the best friends"


me: "do you guys smoke weed? do you?"

them: "no it's not really my thing"

me: "oh man, too bad, too bad. my dad made me pot brownies and i can't wait to eat them!"

after this my dad expressed annoyance and stress towards me, like they were going to call the police or something which i responded with mumbles of "fuck the police" and "who cares about anything, really"

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