Wednesday, November 17

i woke up this morning, early morning. 5 am, my alarm clock said. i was laughing out loud. my dream was hilarious. funny things were happening. i thought, 'i should write this down, i won't remember tomorrow.' i didn't write it down, i don't remember.

i walked down the street yesterday and a man stopped me and said, "miss, do the lights look bright to you? or am i on drugs?"
i said i didn't know, that it wasn't that bright, that it was nighttime.

he said, "okay then, someone must have poisoned and drugged me."

he seemed calm and i felt like whatever his situation was it wasn't really 'that big of a deal'.

i asked a girl a question in class. she is a swimmer, or at least that is what her sweatshirt says, which she wears every day. she has a lot of different colored earrings in both of her ears and eats a breakfast burritos in class. i often look at people and think, 'you shouldn't be eating that'. she had to scoot closer to me to hear what i was asking because other people in class were talking loudly. she is a small girl so it surprised me when she turned to tell everybody in class to 'shut up'. i felt embarrassed, like maybe people thought i had told her to do that, or something. she wanted to high five me maybe twenty minutes after this happened, in relation to a question i asked the teacher i wasn't sure if i was right about. it's weird to me when people want to forge connections with you under circumstances where it feels like you will never sustain the connection.

i am sitting in the atrium of my school and everyone seems like they are working on schoolwork. they have highlighters. some are sleeping in tiny wooden chairs and i feel like i am not doing enough. in general. even the people sleeping are more productive than i am. but i have aspirations; i do. i think i do.

i want to see a movie this weekend, so there's that.

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