frvr

can you microwave a soup can? i feel like this may be the most ideal way to eat soup. i'm feeling sick and i wish i had four other laptops instead of four windows open on this single measly computer. i want to make comics of everyone i have ever known but i don't have enough pens or paper or time, really. homework is whatever life is whatever being outside is overrated.

i don't even know what this

is like really

i feel a lot of pressure writing things. i'd rather organize my desktop. i made a folder titled MEIN KAMPF and labeled it orange. i don't think there's anything in it except maybe a screenshot of a funny question from an online quiz. i'm not a history major or anything. i've been submitting things to places which seems really stupid. everything i am typing here seems stupid like some sort of 'life update' but if i stop addressing the stupidity of things i am sure they will become less stupid.

here is something i found while organizing my desktop. it's funny to me:

i think i wrote this for some screenwriting assignment or whatever. it's funny to me to think of the sort of play this would be in. 'community theater in a church' comes to mind. 'funny to me', that could be the title, is anyone interested in collaborating, seems like a good idea

JUNE
Do you have any hair gel?

DAN
Why would I have any hair gel?

JUNE
Jesus, I’m just asking. You might have a stash somewhere. Hidden.

DAN
You’re exhausting me. If I had the chance, I’d drown you in the ocean.

JUNE
Hah, that’s funny. You’re funny.

DAN
I’m being serious. I’d tie two boxes full of logs to your ankles. You’ll feel sad, but once you see all of the sharks you’ll be happy again, because you’ve always loved sharks. They won’t eat you but you’ll sink to the bottom and your lungs will feel salty. That’s how I’d kill you.

JUNE
Have you ever seen a therapist? I’m serious. I’m concerned for your psyche.

DAN
No, you’re not.

JUNE
All right, then I’m not. I’m tired. Did you hear about that party tonight? There’s a party. I think I’m going.

DAN
Who even invited you to that?

JUNE
You’re an asshole. Shit, I think I just heard something on your window. Can you check to make sure there isn’t an intruder?

DAN
You can check yourself. You’re three inches taller than I am.

JUNE
It’s your house. You don’t want someone stealing your plasma screen, do you? Besides, you’re supposed to protect me. Men are supposed to protect women.

DAN
You’re absolutely crazy if you think I’d ever do you a favor. Besides, I don’t even have a plasma screen TV. I mean, I wish I did, but that’s not the point.

JUNE
You seem distressed.

DAN
You’re an idiot.

june is looking through tagged pictures on facebook, has another tab open to the wikipedia page about sid vicious, drinks orange juice, looks at her watch, thinks about death, fame, and black friday, which seems like a hybrid of the two

JUNE
Look at this picture of us! We were so young. Can you believe we were ever that young?

DAN
Yeah, I can. Can’t you? Your hair was longer then. Why did you cut it?

JUNE
No one ever told me not to.

DAN
I liked your hair like that. You should have kept it.

JUNE
You should have told me. But I don’t think I would have cared much. Maybe I would have. I don’t know.

DAN
You kind of look like Wesley Snipes now. I mean, not black or a guy or anything, but just your facial features. Your facial features make you look like Wesley Snipes.

JUNE
Someone once told me I look like Mama Cass. I think that was two years ago, though.

DAN
You’ve never looked like her. People comment on your appearance to get something out of you, you know. You’ve got to be careful. You can only trust people who have never given you a compliment.