"my wife and i met at a suicidal tendencies concert"

today the ups guy came into my work and told me to stop texting, that my bosses had told him to watch me because i texted too much. he said i was in trouble and i think he was really serious. he had a hot drink from starbucks and i wanted to push him into the shelves and tell him to get back to work. his exact words were "keep an eye on you"