i hate poetry and poems and omg you're so dumb

1.

once i tried to play rihanna's 'rude boy' on the guitar in front of my ex boyfriend he said i got really good at guitar but like

haha

i made him cry in a good way we were putting sandwiches into our mouths and talking about dead people

sometimes i think i am a clairvoyant and i want to be the person who writes people's resumes

i can build up your self esteem if only you'll let me

so anyways today i was like should i jog or not i decided not

2.

if you give a mouse a cookie he'll want to video chat and then

okay what i meant to say is i'm willing you with my brain to chat me now because i have a funny story to tell you and when you said i could sleep over at your house i was thinking no but i said yes

people laugh at the things i say but i think it's because i stopped washing my hair and it makes me

look more grunge

and that's pretty in right now

i wanted to talk to you about the time you touched my face at a party you kind of held my cheek for a while

i go to a private university and i'm the most alternative girl there because i dyed my hair green over the weekend

wait do you mean nirvana the band or

3.

i wanted to tell you that i really liked your band but i wish you'd just like i don't know hang out with me my dad said i'm not superficial

i think my roommate is having sex and knocking things over

this calls for some sit ups

4.

my friend tweeted brunettes are better than blondes and i cried is this true someone please affirm that this is not a fact

is this a fact

is there anything to live for

couples i've seen today (january 31 2011)

1. hip young attractive people on the J. the girl was performing a clawing/petting motion to the guy's back. the girl and i made eye contact. i had trouble discerning my attractiveness relative to their presence.

2. older couple wearing what appeared to be an array of patagonia and north face outerwear, holding each other on the streetcar platform. their stance as well as their clothing seemed to protect them from all elements. seemed safe. i smiled at them because they looked perfectly complimentary to each other.

3. young urban couple in a white mustang, singing and dancing to a rihanna song on the radio. claps at the appropriate junctions. i might have been "beaming" at the sight of their fun.

4. overly affectionate girl on escalator with effeminite young man. his eyes were party closed with what looked like an annoyed facial expression. she was on the top step of the escalator and had to bend down and lean into the boy in order to embrace him. she perched her head on top of his shoulder as they ascended. he kept his hands in his pockets.

friend showed this to me >>> louleo.tumblr.com

ALL OF THE EMBARRASSING THINGS I'VE EVER DONE

brought a quiche for lunch in the first grade

accidentally flashed everyone at seventh grade pool party

accidentally flashed everyone at roller skating birthday party

used strangers' photobooth applications to take pictures of myself

used said pictures for strangers' computer wallpaper

used strangers' computers to open tabs of myself on all social networking websites i belong to

every time i've ever used the term 'world wide fame'

barfed in the dorm elevator on valentine's day, called everyone i know to profess my lovelessness

every time i've ever barfed

every time i've ever professed my lovelessness

crybaby the movie

teaser trailer of our full length project coming in march. topics included are how to be in a successful band, avoid embarrassment, make up your own genre, get people to take you seriously and gain popularity without compromising your integrity. featuring interviews with joyride, young prisms, shredder girl, and more. song by joyride. download their songs here: [http://www.sendspace.com/file/2snhh1]

final reflection rhetoric 260 fall semester 2010

As with most things I do that requires adhering to authority, I was initially hesitant with this class. I assumed it would be another writing class that would undermine my RAW TALENT. In reflection, I think the success I experienced in this class totally affirmed and solidified my decision to transfer schools. This course encompassed everything I wanted that I didn’t receive at SFSU. The course was challenging and at times I even felt like I was floundering to meet deadlines, which was exciting. I like to think I employed healthy levels of stress this semester, even if I did email you at odd hours of the evening claming to have had “a nervous breakdown”. To be honest sometimes I employ dramatics solely as material for my forthcoming novel / #1 bestseller. But that’s another story.

I was really impressed by your dedication and organization, not to mention how interested you seemed in our papers and progress in the course. I wanted to put as much time into writing as you did into grading. Your feedback was always impressive, thorough, and thought provoking. But I digress; I think this is supposed to be a reflection about me.

Deadlines used to be my arch nemesis and I could never really figure out how to finish a piece of writing once I had started it. I have total neuroses when it comes to submitting and showing people my work, but being able to practice my writing in mediums I wouldn’t normally take upon myself has given me more confidence to pursue "writing as a career". Not to mention I practiced flexibility in my writing skills to advance my pursuits and launch me into world wide fame.

Is it okay that this reflection is so colloquial? I feel like it should be okay. “Writing as conversation”.

Basically in my revisions I tried to make my language much more concrete and definitive. I wanted to sound like the supreme authority on the topics I was writing about. I think you’ll notice that I took your suggestions and removed a lot of vague/abstract sentences and replaced them with more concrete information. I’ll save the abstractions for my Gertrude Stein phase (crossing my fingers). As far as paper #4 goes, I feel like I should tell you I think it’s a miserable failure. I hope I didn’t come off as some psychotic lunatic. Definite heavy handedness when it came to political comments. It should be known that I am fairly apathetic when it comes to world affairs and politics. I only like reality television. Just kidding. Okay really though I think this reflection is far too casual but I am just going to “go for it” and consider it experimental non-fiction. Thanks for teaching such a good class. Really, it was awesome and I don’t think you could have done a better job. I would have liked to see more "heated class discussion" but that’s subjective. If I ever go into teaching I hope to employ your relational skills amongst other redeeming qualities. I was really impressed. And I am not easily impressed. In fact, I mostly hate everything.

So look for me in the New York Times Book Review or something, I’ll mention you in my extensive list of people to thank for my fame.

PEACE
SARA

you are dancing to soulja boy

you are not being ironic about it because you know the words and even though your stomach feels acidic like it’s burning a hole in you you keep jumping up and down and changing the tempo of your jumping/skipping in place to correlate with the beat of the song.

pretty boy swag pretty boy swag pretty boy swag

you are sitting on top of someone’s bed next to a pair of dirty underwear that are still injeans.looks like they evaporated out of their clothes, and you are laying next to them wondering where they went. people around you are drinking four loko out of cups. girl keeps talking about its offensive flavor which is funny at first but she abuses the phrase then falls out of a chair and onto the floor.

poem my 10 yr old sister wrote via facebook chat

i know dis is just out of the blue
but i stepped on dogpoo today and
brb

things i thought were funny at the mall today

the food court was fucked up

the shoe displays at macys were fucked up

best friend and i decided to buy matching slippers for each other and our other best friend, couldn't decide on a good style, then decided all slippers are bad

drank smoothies on a chaise lounge in cost plus world market

had a successful conversation* with person from high school who was working at victorias secret. said 'good sales' and 'great deals' ~5x

made best friend pose in front of nordstrom with a starbucks holiday cup so i could take a picture. got pissed when girls got in the frame, turned out we went to school with them. had a conversation full of laughter and only one failed joke.

successfully ignored someone by looking down at my cell phone seriously, very seriously.


*successful as in: no bad jokes were made, transitions were seameless, exit route well planned and executed. ("i'm going to go look at that underwear, nice chatting")

smoke weed every day

grande nonfat gingerbread latte

just imagined hitting chicken nuggets out of a tennis ball machine with a tennis racket

frvr

can you microwave a soup can? i feel like this may be the most ideal way to eat soup. i'm feeling sick and i wish i had four other laptops instead of four windows open on this single measly computer. i want to make comics of everyone i have ever known but i don't have enough pens or paper or time, really. homework is whatever life is whatever being outside is overrated.

i don't even know what this

is like really

i feel a lot of pressure writing things. i'd rather organize my desktop. i made a folder titled MEIN KAMPF and labeled it orange. i don't think there's anything in it except maybe a screenshot of a funny question from an online quiz. i'm not a history major or anything. i've been submitting things to places which seems really stupid. everything i am typing here seems stupid like some sort of 'life update' but if i stop addressing the stupidity of things i am sure they will become less stupid.

here is something i found while organizing my desktop. it's funny to me:

fictional characters from movies or television i would like to date based on personality, appearance, and mannerisms

josh from clueless

seth cohen from 'the oc'

nick andopolis from freaks and geeks